Don't set sail in a relationShip, pt 2

What happens when the ship sinks?

Last week, I elaborated what it means to set sail on a ship of relating and explored that through a specific example. If needed, you can refresh your memory here.

This week, I’ll further explore that example and look at what happens when a ship of relating sinks.

Vishal and Helene met while traveling in Thailand and quickly fell into romance. Because it is their shared cultural norm they also set sail on a ship of relating. At first things were not so serious and they were both happy to experience pleasure jaunts together, but as their bond deepened things changed. It became important to know how serious they each were about their ship of relating and what their intentions were. They needed to know if they had the same ideas about what kind of ship they wanted to sail and what their destination was. Did they agree on on how they would divide the work of sailing, caring for the ship, and providing the resources needed to maintain the ship and themselves?

These are all important questions that are drastically shaped by their underlying conceptualization of their connection as a ship of relating - as a relationship. A voyage is limited in scope; it is intended to get you from departure point A to arrival point B. A ship is vulnerable because if it sinks, everyone’s life is at risk.

Despite the fact that Vishal and Helene live their lives on land with day to day experiences that are very unlike the day to day experiences of people sailing a ship they are emotionally and psychologically conceptualizing their connection as a voyage together on a “ship”.

Over time, both Vishal and Helene will develop an internal impression of the value of the “ship” that carries them through shared experiences while traveling together in Southeast Asia. The comfort and familiarity of each others company and the way they care for each other becomes a vessel that protects them and makes their travels easeful.